I could have been a hero. I could have affected change. I could have been braver at the Forks. His eyes burn me in the old hotel suite, and I know what I’ve become. He tells me to turn around. He wants to see my back. ‘Perfect skin. Perfect curves. Perfect face,’ he says. And I hate what I’ve become. ‘The perfect beauty,’ he tells me. I hate who I am. ‘My perfect Sophie,’ he whispers. * * * Michael is not the man I dreamed about this morning. I can’t see that man’s face, and I’ve never been in such a situation, so I pick the dream apart symbolically. Surely, I must be able to offer some insight into myself. But my mind just randomly makes connections. Crow used to say I have an overactive imagination. She said I think too much. They’re not really thoughts. Just escapes. I used to daydream that I impressed Michelle. I don’t recall what I did to deserve it, but Michelle was proud of me and Crow patted me on the back. Good daydreams. Lately, I dream of killing Michael.. The room is still set up, the equipment is ready, and I have another engineer who can be here inside of twenty minutes. You can still get your song done today, the way you want it done. At a reduced charge.’ ‘It’s not his song,’ I interject. Nobody acknowledges me. Walter draws himself up and responds to Bennie instead. ‘I don’t think you realize the full extent of the disaster this…’ he fails to come up with a good insult, and just waves his hand at me, ‘…child has created. Fields was on the phone to his manager as we left to come see you, raving about how happy he is with the track and how he refuses to cut it again. That man is talking about walking out if I so much as ask him to recut it!’ Bennie sighs. We all know just how sad it would make him to have one less Teddy Fields song in the world. ‘All right,’ he says, ‘we’ll go down and talk to him together. And forget the manager. He’s nobody. We’ll speak directly to the label. They’re a smart group. Besides, Fields doesn’t have.
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