I have been feeling all frothy and willy-nilly for a while. Those inner demons have been lurking for months, stalking me, but I’ve been unwilling to confront them. It’s a conundrum I’m sure every woman has grappled with? You really, really, “like” him, you even “love him” (small “l”) but you don’t “LOVE” him (big caps). And then there is the connection you have to your “first”, those special bonds of intimacy. The man who has taken your virginity is always going to be special. How do you cut all those ties without casting yourself asunder? I knew I would cry when it happened. When I let the guillotine fall on his happy heart I knew it would be nasty. He would beg and plead and ask for something I was incapable of giving? Probably I would cry rivers tomorrow, hugging my pillow in weakness. Tonight I would hold back the flood of tears and give him his final minutes. I would get a grip, hide that welling tear, wear a plastic smile and let him have me one last time. I needed to let him. ”. Ramya said in typical style and laughed.(is it not funny husband getting pregnant through wife .)” Aamaandee funniyaa dhaan irrukku ,(yes its funny) but let’s be practical, let me stop my testosterone treatment and you can stop all your stuff. Then let us start having a baby.”Ramya interjected,”Mathavaaellaam enna cholluvaa”.(what will others say?)” Yes, you have a point , ellam shock aiyiduvaa, naan thoppaiyaey push pannindu irrundaa ,avalavudhaan , nekku stomachlla edho kati vandhuduthoonnu nenaichindruvaa avaa ellam.”.Shankar said.(everybody will be shocked, me pushing my tummy out, they will think I have a big tumor).Okay daa let us think , maybe you and me can get a transfer and go out of Chennai and get the child in some other town where no one knows us.”Ramya chimed in.“Great idea dee, but enga officellaey branches illayaey.? said Shanky.(my office do not have any branches)“Okay let me try as they were discussing about a project in the North East.I will tell them that if it.
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