We finally arrived at my parents house and settled in. Things were going good and about a month latter my wife wanted to get a place of our own. We moved to a town we used to live in and got services for her and me there for our mental illnesses. I thought things were going good till she started to slowly sink into her old habits and I tried to give her time to adjust. My wife started to spend more time at her friends houses over night and accusing me of trying to control her like she had in the past. I responded telling her ‘look Pam you are a mother and a wife it is time you chose to either act like one or I will leave and this time there will be NO more one more chance.’ Pam responded saying ‘don’t you fucking give me any ultimatum!’ I responded saying ‘I am not controlling you and I am not giving you ultimatums. I am giving you one last chance to make your choice. Do you want me or do I need to go and take our son and start the divorce?’ This shook her up for about a week. He was always underestimated, and the reason why black men still stayed in America involved the insurmountable challenge of defying and then overcoming the very people who had one time defined their fate.Claude felt his mother’s hand on his arm, startling him out of his thoughts. She cried and rubbed his arms, wanting him to feel the same sense of loss for the same man petrified in his casket. He left her arm on his arm, thinking that it would be most appropriate if he comforted his mother rather than give in to his fierce desire to think aimlessly. He listened to the echoes of his father’s pedagogy: ‘remain focused always.’ ‘Put in the hard work regardless of the result.’ ‘Always look presentable no matter how servile the task.’ At best, it was a life under the gun, under some overseer who would whip the Carolina boys into shape, because ultimately that’s what life did no matter how far he strayed from the straight and narrow. Claude figured that every man, woman, and child were.
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