Id go back later and read the forums of sexual escapades and be swept away in my head imagining myself in these scenerios. I hid my magazines because i wasnt old enough to buy them but had managed an arrangement with a man at the store and he would let me buy the new issues with no problem. None of my friends seemed to share this interest. I would bring up small thngs to see if they too had a similar interest. None did so i thought i was alone in this addiction. There was no internet at the time so the magazines and my hands on myself were the only way i had of curing the twitch id get between my legs that would need to be addressed several times a day. I walked into a classroom one day and met the eyes of a boy and for whatever reason felt n my soul that he was a kindred spirit in this addiction of mine. He most definitely was and slowly started introducing me to blow jobs and finger fucking. One day at his mothers house he lifted my skirt and put his tongue on my clit and. I hear the umpire call strikes and balls and safes and outs for nine innings, after the pitch my catchers mask comes off every single time. I feel the fastness of the pitch in my glove and it stings the palm of my hand and turns it red. I beat the ground with the baseball bat, keep my eye on the ball and crack it over the fence, just to hear that sound. I still live behind home plate in that squatting position. You can always distinguish the poor kids from the middle kids in Catholic grammar schools. The have-nots wear stiff socks that are hand washed every single night in the sink and dried on the oven doors in the morning, the socks lose their elasticity from the washing and linger around the ankles all stretched out leaving cold bare white legs turning blue and big knees. You can spend your days pulling your socks up to your knees but eventually you just forget about them. The blue plaid jumper does not have any fabric left to hem, except for a thread and it just keeps getting.
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