A mussed tuft of hair jutted out from above his chin like a couple of bean sprouts lazing out from the lips of rye bread, his straight framed glasses cozening a haughty gilt of ‘Non too plus’ upon the crook of his nose, his eyes caged like dozy lions having recently reminded themselves, as purring keepers of the plains, of their rank and title either side of the gate of his temples. His dowdy augite and hoary garments flaccidly hitched upon his spindly frame like rambling lost property from a laundry mat. He wasn’t so much a friend; more of an associate because he once assisted me with some desperately needed cash by taking photographs as I crouched and spread my butt-cheeks for his camera, while his stammering breath would condensate his forehead with a sultry larvae which plashed against flaying wisps of long, stray, waddling hairs. My rectum crooning for the lens in the only way a rectum knows how to croon. These nude art photos were supposedly all going into an art book of some. "Why do you keep women as slaves and why do you have them whipped?" Tiggs asked, taking the offensive in her usual hectoring manner."We do want we do because it seems sensible, and it works." Obviously it's stupid and not in the least sensible, but what do you mean, it works?" Well, for example, there are no Kobekistani women who would be as rude to any man as you are being to His Magnificence, the Emir Mahmoud Abdullah, the Sovereign ruler of this Emirate in his own palace." I'm just doing my job. It isn't my job to kow-tow to some tin-pot prince," she expostulated, "You should have free and fair elections with everyone voting, including women, and then I'll be polite to your President." And when we had wasted millions on campaign badges and silly hats and balloons, and when we had finished arguing about which voting papers were filled in legally and had counted them all, then you would be polite to whichever political trickster was abusing young girls as a condition of being allowed.
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